Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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