i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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