Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
