3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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