I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
