you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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