My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
