I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
