I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i've created a new STD.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
