Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
