so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
