I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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