I want to walk on stilts...naked
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We are two peas in an std pod
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
