She went from zero to smokin in five shots
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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