I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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