you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
