so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
