And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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