how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
