Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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