Whoa Z and x make the same sound
In America we eat man semen.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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