considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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