I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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