Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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