I'm going to jail i love you
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
