i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
