Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
...so i touched it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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