he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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