Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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