no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize