Three words: puerto rican gang bang
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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