pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize