I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
