She's JV to your varsity
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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