I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
