my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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