If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
