you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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