I bet he comes in French.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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