If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
