Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize