I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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