Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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