It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
