So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize