the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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