How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
