ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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