Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
