i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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