Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
