I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize