The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
