im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
