he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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