the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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