with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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