She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
