Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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