You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
