i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Everyone says I win the strip club
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
