The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
