Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
