that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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