WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
