Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
