just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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