We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize