I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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