a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
