Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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